Recent Thoughts

With a bit of extra time and internet in Quito, I’ve spent hours reflecting on the past few months and thinking about the months to come.

I came to South America with zero expectations because I had no idea what life would look like. And I still never know what my tomorrow looks like. Sometimes we start with plans, but generally things just happen & you go with it. I wake up everyday and ask God what He wants me to do, and I try to remain open to wherever He’s leading. Three months ago, that meant leaving my newly settled home in Quito to live with a family on the coast.  I traveled through this country by myself to an area I knew very little about- I didn’t even know the people I would live with! I was thrown into a world of no english and completely stripped of every comfort I’ve known for 18 years. And I spent the following three months laughing, crying, and praying more than I have in my entire life put together.

I traveled to small villages of people who marveled at my skin, hair, and language, and who would be in shock to see my house in the States, to Quito to get a visa, to the jungle to help lead a group from Florida, back to Quito again, and then returned to the coast. And I’m in Quito now awaiting my family before our trip to the Galapagos islands (AH YAY!). God continues to speak to me in mysterious ways, and I’m just trying to listen. I’m here for the month of December and the first week of January, and then I’ll be in Peru. I have no idea what life will look like there, but I’m sure I’ll be waking up everyday waiting for God’s surprises.

I love this life. I’m in South America with nearly a year of no plans, of literally just following the Lord. I have good days and bad days, but mostly I’m just overwhelmed by His grace and love and faithfulness. And there are fun moments where I realize obvious truths and where I recognize how much I’m growing as a person and as a follower of Christ. It is an incredible feeling to know that I am being shaped into the woman God made me to be. He has unbelievable things in store for me, and I am walking by His side as He reveals them little by little.

On another note, this life is scary because I like to be in control. I like plans. Sometime’s it’s nice to know what I’ll be doing a certain day or what I will eat or where I will sleep. Looking further into the future, I want to know what I will study in school and how in the world I might hold a job one day… but I have no idea. The good thing for me is that I have an all-powerful God who does know all of that. And He has so much more planned for me than anything I can imagine. In that case, trusting Him makes the most sense. He made me and he knows me completely. He has good things for me… so I’m trusting and learning and growing and following wherever He leads. That’s not to say I don’t struggle with it- I do for sure.

This past week, as I’ve been writing essays for my college fellowship applications, I’m thinking more about college in general. I’ve lived the past few months with ZERO thought about further education (and I forgot how to write well/in english…). I committed to a school before I left, and I’m aware I will be attending next fall, but it seems a lifetime away. I had a bit of a reality check as I started writing the other morning- that I eventually am returning to the states and to “normal” life. Life there requires a bit of a schedule, and I assume I’ll have to be on time for things again… but I don’t think I can ever describe my life as “normal” after living here. It’s only been a few months & I have a solid five more left. I can’t imagine who I will be when I get off that plane, but I trust God will continue working in me!

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