Humbling Moments

There is one thing that God continues to remind me throughout my time in South America: that I desperately need Him and I can’t do life on my own.

Several things have happened in the past few months where I end up humbled and realizing that I need my Lord in every part of my life and in every little situation.

For example, as Kri was finishing out her time here, I would talk to her about going home. After being out of the country for so long and experiencing so much, going home is something that needs to be talked trough and taken delicately. As I talked with her about it, I started thinking about going home myself. This is something I hadn’t turned over to God yet- something I’m still struggling with- because I want to be able to do it on my own. There was one night I really thought about it and just absolutely freaked myself out. After an hour of crying and telling my best friend and boyfriend how hard it was going to be, I sort of felt God tap me on the shoulder and say, “hello? I, who have held your hand through everything, will be right there with you.” And then I thought of Psalm 27 and how silly I was being for not immediately turning to God. I’m beyond thankful for my best friend and boyfriend, and I know they will be absolutely amazing and understanding when I come home, but they can’t comfort me and understand me like my Father who created me.

I learned another good lesson last week when my computer fell off the bed and never turned back on. This was my first night in Quito, my first night with Internet again. I was SO looking forward to catching up with friends, skyping, looking through pictures and videos, and just going through Facebook and Twitter and Instagram to see what everyone is up to! And then my computer broke. Granted, I have my phone and the other interns have been so sweet to lend me their computers when I need one, but it’s not the same. The one thing that gets me is that computer holds every picture and video and document since August when I left home. I don’t know if they can be recovered and that just hurts. But again, I’ve felt God whisper to me, “haven’t you been preaching that material things don’t matter? that one should store up treasure in heaven, not on earth?” And while I’m more upset about the pictures and parts of life than the actual computer, I can’t argue with God. I’m sure I’ll get to see a slideshow or something awesome from my 8 months in South America in heaven. The pictures and little things don’t matter nearly as much as what I’ve learned. And I will never forget the places and the faces and the experiences.

My last little story makes me laugh at myself, and it’s a prime example of how quickly I can forget that I am nothing without God. So I forget if or when I mentioned this, but I teach English in the daycare in Peru. I’m with a class of 18 nine to eleven year olds (mostly boys) from ridiculous family and living situations and they are a HANDFUL to say the least. Generally, I’m with Brenda, one of the women who works with Inca Link. She is amazing and can always read my mind when the Spanish can’t come out quite right. The week before I left Peru, Brenda was on a church retreat and I had the class to myself. This meant I was teaching the bible lesson and English lesson without help. The World Race was still there, but I was with a group that didn’t know any Spanish. SO that morning, I prepared my lesson on Philippians 4:13 because the World Race group had a short skit that went along with it. As class started that day, I was struck by two things. 1. As much as a nightmare as these kids can be, I have grown to adore them and they actually like me too! And 2. I was in charge of this class- in Spanish- and I was doing it well! When class ended, I was feeling pretty good about myself. I said bye to the kids, thanked my world race group for helping me out, and then had this secret little feeling inside- just feeling so proud that I had done that class “all by myself.” And then within seconds I realized what I had just thought to myself. I had just taught a class on the fact that “I can do anything through Christ who strengthens me,” and I had stressed the importance that we cannot do anything on our own. We NEED God. And there I was, two hours later, patting myself on the back for doing something “all by myself.” HA.

This is just a small example of one thing God has been teaching me. I thought, while I still have Internet, that this would be good to share- to give a deeper glimpse into my heart and what I’m learning. I’m not perfect and I am absolutely nothing without God. And He hasn’t been afraid to remind me of that pretty frequently.

I’m not sure if I’ll post again before I go back to Peru, and we leave Monday morning! I am SO excited to get back there and be really invested there for my last two months. I’ll try to post from there… maybe once before I come home… but the internet is so inconvenient I just don’t mess with it! Anyway, thank you SO much for continued support and encouragement!

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